Dogs who have never heard of personal space

Every dog works from a simple map of the house. Everything warm belongs to them, and everything else is negotiable.

Personal space is a human invention, and no dog has ever agreed to it. The six below have made their position clear, mostly from about four inches away. At least two of them are sitting on something that was in active use.

Brown dog resting its head on a person’s open hand indoors — A chin comes down on the nearest available hand and the rest of the dog follows. Nobody has finished a sentence after this. The hand has been quietly reclassified as a pillow that occasionally types.

There is a reasonable explanation and it is the boring one. Contact settles a dog’s nervous system along with yours, which is why five minutes of petting takes the edge off the next stress. Your dog has worked this out and is acting on it. You are being helped, and there is nothing to discuss.

Small chihuahua sitting on a man’s lap on a leather chair — The lap was already holding a phone, a remote and a folded newspaper. All three have been redistributed. This is the small dog method: move the furniture, then look up as though you have been there for an hour.

Size does not enter the negotiation. A four pound dog on a lap has much the same footprint as a ninety pound one, because the ninety pound version arrives with a tail and a plan for it.

Fluffy white dog standing on a desk beside a woman working on a laptop — Working from home has one variable that never makes the job description. The dog does not care about the deadline or the meeting. The dog cares that your face is at a reachable height, and it has decided this is a fine use of both your mornings.

Siberian husky lying along a couch beside a woman resting — The husky has taken the long axis of the couch and left the human a strip along the backrest. According to the husky, this is a fair division of territory. The blanket will be under discussion in ten minutes.

Cavalier King Charles spaniel curled up on a person’s lap — This one went for the full tuck, which needs a lap, a knee and an arm to hook a chin over. The book is closed and the tea is going cold. Nobody in this photograph is moving for forty minutes. These are also the dogs who can fall asleep in any position on earth, so the tuck is only the opening move.

Furry paw resting on a desk beside a person typing on a laptop — And then the keyboard. A paw on the desk is a request for attention with plausible deniability attached, since the dog is technically just standing there. The typing gets worse. The dog does not mind.

None of them will be filing an apology. The couch is warm and the lap is available. The six inch rule applies to everyone in the house except the mail carrier.

Dogs who have never heard of personal space

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